The Importance of Being Obsequious

From dictionary.com:

ob⋅se⋅qui⋅ous

–adjective

1.	characterized by or showing servile complaisance or deference; fawning: an obsequious bow.

2.	servilely compliant or deferential: obsequious servants.

3.	obedient; dutiful.

Origin:
1375–1425; late ME < L obsequiōsus, equiv. to obsequi(um) compliance (obsequ(ī) to comply with (ob- ob- + sequī to follow) + -ium -ium ) + -ōsus -ous

Related forms:

ob⋅se⋅qui⋅ous⋅ly, adverb

ob⋅se⋅qui⋅ous⋅ness, noun

Synonyms:
1. sycophantic, flattering. 2. cringing, submissive. See servile.

I’m not sure that the word “obsequious” is exactly the word that best describes what I’m trying to express, but it’s what one of my favorite poker authors used (David Sklansky) and if it’s good enough for him, then it’s good enough for me.  In a recent podcast I listened to on the way back from Las Vegas (I can’t remember which one) I heard him describe an attitude that a good poker player should have when playing for money.  It touched on something I have been trying to develop in my own game, and have been thinking about quite a bit lately.

Sklansky drew a paralell between the way you talk to a police officer when they’ve pulled you over, and the way you treat other, especially bad players at the poker table.  When you’re pulled over, and this is more important when the police officer seems to enjoy the power he believes he has, you want to treat the officer in a way that confirms his power.  In other words, if you are abrasive with the officer, it is probably more likely that you will receive a ticket.  If you treat the officer with respect, there’s a better chance that you will be treated with leniency.

Whether deserved or not, it comes down to a familiar saying:  You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.  Be nice and you’re likely to be treated nice in return.

At the poker table, this is doubly true.  If you’re a good player with a positive ROI, you want to make it as easy as possible for players to lose to you.  You don’t want anybody focusing on you because you’ve pissed them off or challenged them in some way.  You don’t want to discuss strategy with them or even appear like you know what you’re doing.  If anything, you want to appear lucky – and probably more important, you want to confirm that you feel lucky, that it’s a fluke that you happen to be up, or winning.

One of the situations where this becomes important is when somebody sucks out on you – the term “sucking out” refers to a hand where one player is clearly in the lead, say they have pocket Aces for instance.  Another player, let’s say they have 7-2 offsuit and they call a raise from the player with pocket Aces preflop.  If, by the river the player with 7-2 offsuit catches two pair, meaning a 7 and a 2 are on the board, the person with pocket Aces will commonly say that the other player (in this case, who played the worst possible starting hand against the best possible starting hand) “sucked out” and basically got lucky.

The player with the best starting hand will often make comments like, “How can you call my raise with such a bad hand?”  Other comments:

• Nice catch; please keep playing like that!
• Nice hand, sir.  By hand I mean catch, and by sir I mean idiot!
• Wow, I hope you stay at the table; I like playing against donkeys!

Or, I once said to somebody at the poker table:  “You probably had pot odds to call; however, I doubt you understand what pot odds are!”

Statements like this will often do one of two things (both will hurt you in the long run):  The player will start playing better, or even worse, go home and read some books to learn why their play was bad.  The player might focus on you – and try to play better against you, only because you publicly embarrassed them.  Both of these are less than desirable.  What you really want is players who are happy, preferably drunk, and willing to lose to you with a smile on their face.

I once watched a great player defuse a couple of situations at the poker table, where other players misunderstood, or just took something he said the wrong way.  Immediately the player offered his hand and asked their name – even offering to buy the other player a drink!

Another thing to remember is to never ever talk about strategy, or discuss books that will provide instruction.  You don’t want other players to know that you study and try harder than they do to win.  You really don’t want to provide them with information that will improve their game at all!

I really have to work on all of this.  I have a strange, kind of passive-aggressive way of complimenting my opponents about their hands when they win.  Today at the table I had pocket Aces, and flopped a set (3 of a kind).  Another player catches a straight with 7-4 offsuit (yes, on the river of course) and I complimented him on what a great hand he had, and how I probably would have played it more aggressively to make more money with it.  (The fact is, I don’t play 7-4 offsuit, but that’s another story.)  A couple of the other players recognized that I was being saarcastic, and laughed a little bit.  The player I was talking to never really caught the saarcasm, and thanked me for complimenting his play.  :)

Trip Report Days 1 & 2 (or, if my iPod is playing Willie Nelson, this must be Nevada)

My original plan was to leave Monday, July 5th; however, the more I read about driving through Nevada in the middle of summer, the more I thought it would be better on me and my car to drive at night as much as possible.  So I figured I would leave sometime in the middle of the night after the fireworks had ended and I had slept a few hours.  I spent the 4th with my friends the Anderer’s, who had purchased a bunch of fireworks that the kids enjoyed.

Dana & Eleon

After the fireworks ended, and I said my goodbyes to my friends, I went home to catch a few hours of sleep.  Yea, right!  I went home, looked around me and tried to figure out how I would ever sleep at all.  I hadn’t packed anything at all yet, but for the life of me I couldn’t think of anything I needed except a couple of changes of clothes, money, and my phone.  So I dug out a bag, threw in a few necessities, a couple of poker books and looked at my bed the way I imagine Bill Gates looks at a penny.  It was only 10:30pm, and I figured I would catch some sleep along the way, so I hopped in my car, put the top down and put it in high gear.  :)

The drive out of Seattle was really awesome, and very fitting for the adventure I was about to enjoy.  As I drove down I-5, I passed several fireworks shows that the various cities were performing.  It was a great experience!

I made it to Oregon before I decided I needed some sleep.  So somewhere between Portland and Salem I pulled into a rest area and caught a few hours of sleep.  When I woke up I found the nearest Starbucks and continued on my way.  It felt like I went through Oregon quickly; before I knew it I was at the checkpoint before entering California where they asked me if I had any fruit.  The drive through Northern California was beautiful; the view of Mt. Shasta was amazing!

A couple of hours into California, I turned left onto Highway 89 which would take me into Nevada and eventually to Reno.  That was a beautiful drive!  The roads were smooth and fun, and the scenery was awesome!  It seems like it didn’t take long, although I remember arriving in Reno very tired.  I called my Mom to tell her I had made it to Reno and took her recommendation to stay at the Silver Legacy hotel/casino.  I wasn’t disappointed.  It was a great place to put my head down.  :)

I remember tweeting that I had arrived in Reno but I was too tired to do anything.  Somehow I managed to take a shower and go downstairs to try and find a poker table.  Unfortunately the Silver Legacy didn’t have a poker room, and I was too tired to wander around outside, so I stayed and played Blackjack.  I remember being very thirsty so (again, based on Mom’s recommendation, I ordered a Vodka Tonic when the server asked).  I don’t really remember asking for more; they just kept appearing as I played Blackjack, and the next thing I remember I’m waking up with a really bad headache.  I had lost $200 playing Blackjack, so I figured I would head down to the tables again before I left.  (That’s hangover logic.)

Apparently I had made some friends the night before because the guy I sat next to remembered me.  In fact, he told me “Good luck in Vegas” so I must have told him where I was going.  I really hope that’s all I told him!  I somehow managed to make $300 before I left, so all in all I was up $100 at Blackjack, but paid $60 for the room, and about $30 for food and drinks, so it was almost a wash.  Not bad, actually.  I left by tweeting “Thank you, Reno!”

The rest of the day I spent driving through Nevada.  Not much to say except it was FREAKING HOT!  Death Valley was actually beautiful.  The roads were smooth like butter; probably because my tires were slowly melting.  Did I mention it was hot?  It was kind of a shame – I had bought this beautiful convertible for hot weather, but at 110 degrees, I decided that AC was more comfortable.

A very hot drive!

At any rate, as I passed the 80 mile mark, I remembered the term “86″ meant 80 miles out, 6 feet under.  I wonder how many holes in the desert I passed at that point?

The first structure I recognized was, of course, the Stratosphere.  That was when I really got excited!

I had made it to Vegas, and after some help from Sazzy, eventually made it to her home.  She was a wonderful hostess, and gave me a bed in the World Headquarters of The Vegas Tourist!  That was really cool!  I really appreciate her hospitality – especially that she didn’t mind me coming and going at odd hours.  :)

The night I arrived, Mark, Sazzy and I all went to the Rio to get our media passes to the WSOP and look around.  They explained to me that having a media pass gives me special access that the other spectators don’t get.  For instance, I’m able to walk around among the tables and try to find people I recognize.  I saw Tom Durr, Kathy Liebert, and several other players.  During the first visit, I was just getting used to the special access pass (aka Media Pass).  At one point, a security guard approached us after the spectators were supposed to have left, and asked us to leave.  I turned around, showed my Media Pass, and the guard apologized.  I think Mark & Sazzy saw the grin slowly grow across my face because they both laughed.  :)

That night was great; after watching the action at the WSOP I went and looked for a table, but the waiting list was so long I decided to go back to Sazzy’s and get some much needed sleep.

I fell asleep and dreamed about being the one to bust Phil Hellmuth out of the main event.  Someday.  :)

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